crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
I haven't been updating at all lately huh? That's kinda sad, and lazy, of me but the main reason is that I found myself preferring to write on actual paper, like how I've done from elementary to high school. It's nice. I like the privacy of a diary that only I could read. Plus, I could actually practice coloring and drawing there, and it's the most I've drawn since like, 2010 and APH.

Here's a couple of pages!



tw: blood for the other page )
 
I wish I could write a short thing for TABI PO because it's so amazing. Also, has anybody seen THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2, because I wasn't really going to watch it but then Dane DeHaan's face happened and I kinda want to watch it for the pretty Harry Osborn...


Dane DeHaan aka that dude from Chronicle (2012)
crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
Happy New Year! A bit late greeting as it’s thirteen days past but the feeling’s still there, guys, I believe it is. (Also, I had Internet problems haha). You may have noticed that I haven’t been blogging much, and that’s a pity, but there’s something daunting in actually sitting down to write a journal entry… I don’t know. I feel like I can’t be as silly here like I get in tumblr, especially. It’s like I actually have to write in complete sentences and correct punctuation, holla. But yeah, enough musing and let’s get to some stuff that happened during the holidays!

So basically I got a 13-day Christmas break from work, due to overlapping national holidays and my boss’ frequent leaves from work. That’s almost two weeks and wow. What have I done with that? I could’ve travelled or something but I didn’t, I did things not as physically exciting but ultimately pretty fulfilling I gotta say.

I read. I read like hell. I finished three books in a 13-day period which is not bad for me! And I’m halfway through another one about monks killing monks. Very exciting! I missed reading so much. Plus, my room was newly-painted a cool shade of lilac, which is ok, and some repositioning of furniture was done, so I could sit on the bed and read by sunlight when I open the windows! The view is nothing much, it’s just the neighbor’s wall, but it’s perfect for reading, especially around the afternoon, when the light’s cooler. I loved waking up late and taking a long shower; I missed having my own room to walk naked in, not having to dress in a cramped bathroom; I missed the feel of my books, which I had to rearrange because for a couple of days they were strewn around the floor; I got to eat some real food and not some fast-food take-away, while playing video games until 4 in the morning. 13 days without the internet was challenging – I can’t randomly search the history of the book I’m reading – but it was surprisingly easy. I’m not saying I’m ok with giving it up, but I know I’ll live, because there are so many things to do!

Christmas, New Year's and my brother's home! )
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Starting a new blog post with a whiny rant under a read more. I wrote this on a journal like a year ago but I’m feeling it again and really, I’m too lazy to describe it again so I’ll just post it.



Anyway enough of that crap and let me bullet point stuff I’ve been doing this past month!
  • My roommate and I made a pact to finish all previous seasons of Breaking Bad before part 2 of season 5 starts in August 11. We’ve been at this for like two weeks now and we’re still at Season 4!! We’ve got like three days to finish 7 episodes plus part 1 of season 5, whew. Thank the gods today is a holiday!
  • Speaking of which, EID MUBARAK to everyone celebrating! (I seriously love my country, we get Christian and Muslim national holidays off ahh)
  • Finished season 2 of Boardwalk Empire, halfway done with season 3. I need more Rothstein.
  • I’M WATCHING ONGOING ANIME AFTER A LONG TIME?? Right now I’m into Shingeki no Kyojin and Free! So anybody who wants to talk about those, just hit me up!
  • I LOVE JEAN KIRSCHTEIN. I unironically sail every ship that he is in, Jean/Marco, Jean/Eren, Jean/Mikasa, Jean/Armin, basically Jean with everybody. Annie is a close second in my heart.
  • It’s so hard to say which of the swimming boys I love most, maybe Nagisa and Rei, but I love them all really. Rn I just want to see Samezuka-buchou in a speedo.
  • This is an important public service announcement: Welcome to Night Vale has swallowed my corporeal being. I can’t believe how attached I am to Cecil, like when did this happen.
  • I don’t know how I manage to juggle all these fandoms with two hands, possibly some tentacles, but I’m managing. It’s fun!
  • Oh and how could I forget: PACIFIC RIM. I’m brimming with ideas and I’m going to write semi-historical fic because that’s my jam.

Book update:

I am really behind on my reading list this year. I may not be able to finish the 50 book milestone I set for myself and I may whittle that down to a manageable 30. I’m currently juggling a couple of books too, as is my usual behaviour.
  • Finally got around to reading Les Miserables after all the heart-breaking ExRfanfiction I devoured a month ago. Something about modern AUs for the Les Amis and college friendships make me wish I had a tight-knit group growing up. Ah, I want to rec fanfics of these, but would anyone even be interested?
  • The thing is, my paperback of Les Mis is pretty inconvenient to bring along all the time, so I also have it on this tab that I use as a reader. Basically I’m simultaneously reading two different translations. I wish I just knew French.
  • I am slowly moving forward with Moby Dick. Very, very slowly.
  • And I also read a handful of HP Lovecraft’s short stories courtesy of this, because of Night Vale. IT’S GREAT. AND CREEPY. And I’m pretty sure one of them is anti-alcohol Prohibition Era propaganda.
  • Bought A Separate Peace and All Quiet on the Western Front for PHP90 a piece!

That’s mostly all for now, and I do hope I get to post more often. Hit me up on tumblr, maybe, I’m pretty much always there 
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I promise that one of these days I'll post a proper entry, but today is not that day. Time for some Tagalog ranting.

pissed off at intentionally incorrect tagalog grammar: a story )
crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
I’ve been under the weather these past two weeks, what with doubled workload and unpaid overtime hours. My manager’s father had died, so the two of us left in the unit had to shoulder extra work. It’s sad, and unavoidable, and I was logging 12 hours of work every day, not counting the work I had to take home. I think it’s taking its toll on me - I hated it so much I was all but ready to ragequit. Just fucking once, I want to go home at exactly six pm.

I also lived on fast-food and coffee most of the time, as I didn’t have the time or patience for anything else. Times like these I miss real food and dinners at home with the family. But, of course, it passes once I think about how much I value my independence, however much I suck at taking care of myself.

FANDOM POST!

Hannibal. I’ve been meaning to talk about Hannibal but I keep putting it off. Seriously, it’s one of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. There’s something different about it, not just the, uh, cannibalistic habits of the titular character. The cinematography, the gore, the sublime dreamscapes and the (sometimes) cheesy dialogue all work together for a feast of the senses! You could almost taste the people Hannibal cooks, really. Also, I love just how creative they are with the murders! “Elevating murder to art,” they say. Hot damn.

Plus all the overt references to Stanley Kubrick and The Shining really get to me. Like this one. And this! I actually jumped around a bit at Episode 7 and ROOM 237 omfg.

Endeavour. If anybody’s looking for a detective series to watch, as Elementary just finished (WITH FLYING COLORS) and Sherlock won’t be back for a while, might I suggest Endeavour, a four-part British miniseries, and a prequel to the long-running Inspector Morse show?

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Endeavour Morse is a young Detective Constable for the Oxford City police in the 1960s. I liked how they didn’t try to modernize Morse, as it would be very easy to do so, but instead, kept him in an Oxford where teenage girls have posters of the Beatles on their walls, and garages showcase Jaguar Mark IIs for their customers. Moreover, as it’s set in the university town of Oxford, and being an Oxford drop-out himself, Morse gets to solve classy murders involving poetry and opera. It’s a lovely show, quite honestly.

There’s only a pilot and a four episode series so it’s very easy to catch up! Of course, afterwards, the inevitable loss, but it’s worth it. Also, Morse is constantly making confused/slightly offended faces like these:

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I'll stop now before I post every single cap I have of his adorbs face.

I'm also thinking of watching Star Trek into Darkness sometime this week, hmmm, if I could.
crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
I haven't been reading stuff lately and that makes me a bit sad. There's around 3 books that I'm stuck halfway through, but I just can't seem to pick them up and finish them. Hmm.

Nevertheless, I've been able to write and draw something, so that's good, we're getting back in the game. The other day I bought a couple of books too, as if I'm not already drowning in them. Sorry for the crappy picture.

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I wandered into a book sale and found Caleb Carr's The Angel of Darkness! I've been looking for this book since I read The Alienist some years ago, and I finally found a copy omg. That really made my day. Here was my description of The Alienist from this:

...which has got to be one of my favorite Victorian-era America novels of all time. There's a serial killer on the loose whose prey of choice are boy whores. And he cuts them up Jack the Ripper style. And the protagonist is an avant-garde psychiarist by the name of Laszlo Kriezler. And he's got a youngish crime reporter as a narrator Watson-style. What's not to love?

Also picked up Michael Crichton's The Lost World, not to be confused with ACD's The Lost World, because I read Jurassic Park once upon a time and it was fun. I have never finished ACD's though. Maybe someday.

Lastly, I now have the two volumes of Skyworld! Expect some fannish thoughts on it later, I've only read the first one and I'm bursting with ideas, complaints and arguments. 

Ending this with LLAP because STAR TREK UGH
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I don’t usually remember my dreams. I can count, on one hand, the dreams I can recall, three of those because I wrote a paper on dreams and my dream senses were probably heightened. The most recent one I remember had space and Barack Obama turning into an alien.

But the other night I dreamt of teeth again. I’ve had dreams about teeth maybe twice before, and they both felt scarily real. One has me standing in front of a mirror, my teeth falling into my hands as I struggle not to let them flush down the drain. The latest has me finding my teeth were all crooked, like something from a Walking Dead zombie, yellowed and cracked.

The strangest thing is, whenever this happens, my thoughts as I lay dreaming are mostly “Oh I have to go to the dentist again” as if falling yellow zombie teeth were quite normal stuff that happens every other year! It’s crazy how collected I am in those dreams, when in real life I would be freaking out because I hate dentists. I’d take hospitals and doctors any day, man, any day. Hospitals can be fun. Dentists. Can. Never. Be.

Another thing, I always wake up whenever I dream this. I wake up alarmed not just because it’s scary, but also because of a superstitious paranoia. See, old people around here say, that when you dream of teeth falling out, something bad would happen to somebody you love. And to counter it you’d have to bite a piece of living wood, not just any furniture, a living breathing piece of plant. I’m not taking any chances, so you can guess how many times I’ve ran out of my dorm, in the middle of the night, looking for a freaking tree/shrub/whatever to bite.

I looked it up once before, and I think they say teeth dreams may mean insecurity, uncertainty for something in the future. That may very well be, you know, because uncertainty is my default state nowadays, but I’m not much of a psychoanalyst to say it is so clearly.

--

I hope everyone had a good Easter holiday! I didn't accomplish anything at all, I just sat around catching up on series and playing video games. I haven't played in a long time, so that was nice. Basically:

- I saw three episodes of VIKINGS and that was a freaking mistake, I didn't need another fandom in my life huhuuu. It's about Vikings raiding the English coasts and taking church treasures and priests back home. All the Vikings are really hot tbh. Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) laughs at the face of anything, gosh I just love how he smiles even when they're in deep shit, and his wife, Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick) is a badass shieldmaiden.spoilers! )

- Caught up to Broadchurch, all except the most recent one, David Tennant remains the light of my life, the journalists still infuriate me and I don't want Argus Filch to be the killer ugh

- Finished Spartacus S1 and everybody just keeps on dying whyy

- I watched Jesus Christ Superstar again last Good Friday, twice! Once with the music, and another with the commentaries on. I just really love that movie. Carl Anderson was wonderful and I can't help but agree with his Judas on things. He makes very good points, like how Jesus' followers were blind, with too much heaven on their minds; and the bottle of perfume! It's a source of endless frustration with me, because yes, I know that there'll always be poor in the world, but can we at least try to help them? Jesus I don't understand.

- Played Skyrim, I haven’t had that much fun with games in a while

- The worst thing about Borderlands 2 is I can’t randomly save and that sucks when my laptop decides to crash all the time, this never happens with Skyrim wtf am I doing wrong
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My dad had an appendectomy last week. He was in the hospital for around 3 days but he’s okay now, he’s been moving around and itching to drive like nothing happened. Thank god we have health insurance because the hospital bills were crazy. I mean, really? You’re just going to cut off a finger-size bit of the intestine that doesn’t have any recognizable function and the procedure doesn’t even take more than 30 minutes and you charge that much? I just don’t know. Not everyone can afford the price of health. And it’s sad.

I’d like to think that things would change this coming election but that’s idealistic. We can’t even pass a reproductive health bill without the Church harping on its immorality. Sometimes I love my country and sometimes I hate it so much, which is more often nowadays.

--

Also, I drew dragonnns! It's been so long since I last drew anything so I'm happy they came out pretty well. I was breaking in a new sketchbook haha.

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I'm so excited about so many dragons: Game of Thrones is back on March 31, THERE ARE NEW DESOLATION OF SMAUG BEHIND THE SCENES OMG THRANDUIL AND LEGOLAS, aaand the Trese thing I may or may not be drawing.

'Til later, guys :))
crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
Bit of a life update or something:

My housemates are really pissing me off. They’re relatively new, compared to three of us who’ve been living here for about 3-4 years and know each other’s piss-off buttons and the like. But I don’t think that’s any excuse because they’ve been here more than six months already.

We hardly talk to each other, but we share a bathroom, and if there’s one thing I’m really obsessive about, it’s bathroom cleanliness. Seriously, if and when I get my own place, everywhere is gonna be a mess of paper and take-out, except the bathroom and the sink. I keep the bathroom clean. I don’t even wait for the landlady to come and clean, I clean the floor, the walls, the bowl, everything, because I can’t stand a dirty bathroom.

probably TMI )

--

Books I’ve read, recently (there are SPOILERS):

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Philip K. Dick. Rick Deckard is a bounty hunter. He hunts androids, or “andys”, who escape to Earth from the Martian colony, and retires them. Stuff happens and he has to hunt down 6 of the new Nexus-type brains, armed only with the Voigt-Kampff empathy scale to differentiate the android from the human. The story inspired films such as Blade Runner and Total Recall.

There’s a lot of interesting material in this story. First is the silence. Most of the people on Earth have gone on to live on Mars to escape the dust, which apparently causes brain damage and even death in the long run. One character lives alone in an apartment building outside the city, and when he turns off the TV, the surrounding silence threatens to engulf him, like something alive. I think I read an experiment somewhere, of a room that does not absorb sound, and that people can’t stay there for long for fear of going mad. We don’t usually give thought to the background sounds of everyday life, but imagine if there wasn’t anything left. What would happen?

Another was the lack of empathy in androids. Basically, these androids look just the same as human beings, and you wouldn’t know if he/she was an android at all unless you test them. The androids in Do Androids Dream can feel, emotions like panic and fear and even happiness. But they fail to empathize with other living things and that’s their defect. There’s a really chilling scene where they find a spider (animals/insects of all kinds are endangered) and proceed to cut off its legs, because they were curious what it needs eight legs for.

The thing is, you want to root for the andys, because they’re fleeing from slavery in another planet. But then, Dick shows you how different they are from real human beings, how screwed up they are, and how they can never be like us. The problem is, as said in the book, there is a percentage of people, real people, who cannot feel empathy, and the test can’t distinguish from that. You’ll only find out after you’ve shot them.

I personally prefer my androids developing personalities and feelings in the long run. Like David in AI. The andys here, however having personalities and rudimentary feelings, are treated as the other because they don’t have that human trait, empathy. And this lack of empathy makes it okay to hunt you down. David from Prometheus is a good example of this cerebral, sentient being. And HAL9000 too, of course.

Rating: 7/10, would recommend to anyone who likes androids and those wanting to watch Blade Runner. I understood that movie so much more afterwards.

The War of the Worlds, HG Wells. Cylinders fall from Mars and in it are Martians set to conquer the world. The events are seen through the eyes of an ordinary 19th century philosopher/professor and involves a lot of hiding and running from the Martians using dog carts and horses.

One thing I realized after reading it through, was that it can be read as a colonial/imperialist metaphor. I’m not sure about Wells’ stand on this but considering England, 1890s, British Empire, I think it’s safe to say that he was well aware of it. If so, the Martians are the imperialists, and the human race is the colonized country.

For example, the artilleryman, friend of the narrator, imagines a possible future with the Martians in charge. They won’t kill everybody, just enough to make a point. And the remaining peoples will flourish with the Martians, who would fatten them up (for food, the Martians drink men’s blood), and use them for entertainment, like pets. And soon enough, these people would forget everything before the coming of the Martians and be satisfied with the way things were. Sounds very colonialist, doesn’t it?

But, the major difference with this and real life is, the Martians are defeated. By bacteria and pathogens native to our soil. Because apparently they don’t have that in Mars. I would argue that it’s different from the way it worked IRL, because the coming of the conquistadors brought and spread diseases from which the native populations had no immunity against. Like the case with the Maya, and the Aztecs, and other peoples around the globe. I haven’t heard of any case where the conquerors fall prey to the diseases of the native land, although there may be a few. Here's a lecture on it if you're interested, I'm still downloading it though, I'll listen later.

EDIT: There are cases of the opposite! Like apparently, syphilis, for example. Still, that did not decimate the colonialist populations like smallpox and measles, though.

They don’t have that in Mars, bollocks. Of course they have bacteria. And the more probable ending would be a worldwide Martian plague bringing the planet to its knees. But yeah, it’s a scifi story, I concede anything could happen.

Rating: 6/10, if only for the hilariousness of the 1890s people and general mass hysteria. +1 because it made me cry a bit on the THUNDER CHILD chapter. Yeah, go read.

I am halfway through The Great Gatsby and it’s really great. It’s my first time reading this bc I’m not American, though.

PS: Habemus Papam Franciscum! Yeah.

crossesandguns: cain with a syringe full of poison (Default)
UPDATE ON THE EHD THING:

So at least my workmate is a decent human being and offered to have it fixed, thank god. The viruses are gone, and most of the files were salvaged. But there's still like 20GB unaccounted for and I can't remember what's missing? Hmm, if I can't remember it then probably it's not that important?

My brother's flying to South Korea tomorrow for an exchange program. That's a WHOLE YEAR he's going to spend in Korea! I'm real jealous and I'm actually gonna miss him because he's like, one of the handful of people I talk to in real life. He's a film major, and I like movies, and we talk about movies a lot. He's also my theater buddy.

Lastly, I read the WORST NEWS this morning and wow, it just ruined everything. I hate DC and Grant Morrison and this was a pretty cheap move. I'm going to elaborate on this later when I'm not really angry and unspeakably sad.

May 2014

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